fear of failure

Success is a Lonely Road


"If you don't know where your going any road will take you there" - George Harrison

For many of us on the path or journey to success, loneliness was a by-product that we never actually planned on bringing along; it showed up when it wanted to and left when it was good and ready. Others live their lives not making any definite decisions, and although they might say they care about doing this or that, their actions say otherwise, and actions are louder than words. They're on a path that needs no directions, and that road's filled with billions of footsteps of countless others who never utilized their potential. For the few of us who decided to pave our paths to success and take the road less traveled, we find ourselves lonely and for a good reason too. Average people don’t have the same mindset and goals as you, therefore, it makes sense why the road to success would be a lot less crowded, it’s because a lot fewer people are choosing to take that path. Why is chasing success so lonely though? Well, first off...



Most People Can’t Handle It

Success isn't an easy task. No one is going to be there with you, holding your hand along the way. It’ll just be you, putting in the work every single day all by yourself. Think you can handle that?Most people can't. They can’t handle being an individual who stands up for their dreams. Most people aren't willing to be outcasted for a short period to achieve the success they desire long-term. The pain to gain ratio is perceived by them to be too high, meaning the pain of achieving success isn't worth it to them. For me, the pain is something I choose to accept as part of the process and rather than trying to avoid it. I allow and validate the pain and then tackle it head-on by letting the feelings wash over me for a short-period of time. Hey, no pain, no gain, right?



Loss of Friends and Family

Losing friends and family is a real possibility and something that happens to a lot of people who decide to chase after the massive success the dream of achieving. Some friends and family could turn their backs on you, leave you feeling isolated and betrayed. Understand that the reason why some of your friends and family will start to distance themselves, unexpectedly despise and outcast you is that they secretly wish for you not to change, for you to stay the same as how you were rather than changing into who you’re becoming. They might see this transformation as a threat, and unconsciously they’re doing what they need to do to protect themselves from being hurt by you in the future. The friends that leave you now aren’t the friends that you would keep around in the future anyway, so take this as a blessing rather than a curse. Instead of having to be the bad guy in the future, they did the dirty work for you and left you with your hands clean.



Lack of Support and Understanding

Your parents might tell you to get a real job, go study for your masters, or to give it all up and join the family business. Your friends might tell you that you need to loosen up and that there's no point in working as hard as you are and that success isn't something that happens to ordinary people. Don’t take this personally it has less to do with you and more to do with them. Your ambitions might threaten them or maybe they regret never following and accomplishing their own dreams. People don’t have to believe in your dreams, that’s not their job. It’s your job to keep your dreams healthy and alive. Worry less about people-pleasing and more on what you need to get done and the pay-off will be dramatic in the long run. Harness your frustration and anger by using this energy as motivation to prove the doubters and haters wrong. Success is the best revenge and success speaks louder than anything you could ever dream of telling those people.



Failure is Faced Alone

When you fail, it feels like there's no one there to support you and pick you back up. Remember the friends that left you and the family that decided to turn their back on you? Do you think they care that you failed? Well, they might act like it, but deep down they're jumping up and down with joy, and they can't wait to tell you "See I was right, and you were wrong! I told you that you were making a mistake!' When your blog doesn't get any hits, your youtube video doesn't get any plays, or your business takes a downturn and takes a loss, the person that's affected by it the most is you. Only you have to experience these feelings because, in the end, it's your failure and no one else. But Failure is not an excuse to quit. Failure is just feedback that lets you know what doesn’t work. Take that information, get the hell back up and get back on the road and never allow yourself for even one second to entertain the thought of giving up. Fail harder. Fail better. Fail until the thought of failure no longer scares you. Fail until you succeed. Don’t become another carcass on the path to success, another checkpoint for another adventurer to pass up on his or her way to the top of the mountain of success.


The path to success if filled with the carcasses of those who tried and failed and although passing those people might feel good, remember that you’re not there to beat them. You’re there to reach the end goal and become successful. Don't let the time, energy, and livelihood you sacrificed every day that you were lonely and depressed go to waste. Success is a lonely road, and it's even lonelier on the top, but I bet there's one hell of a view up there and that's a perspective that I'm not willing to miss out on.


Have you been lonely before while chasing success? Do you think there's anything else that people who chase success go through that cause them to be lonely? Let me know in the comments below!


-Coach K